SPOG FOR PRESIDENT: 2012

Dossier: Antarctica

Spog's claims to Antarctica are ancient and righteous. Many steps have been taken to ensure his eternal dominance of the region. The details are hazy, however, because those who discover these "steps" are often killed in the process.

Spog is generous but Spog is firm. The various visits and research outposts continue solely at Spog's pleasure. God help the expedition that fails to pay the proper tributes and praises. Spog has been responsible for a number of fatal "mishaps" in the frozen wastelands. When traveling in Antarctica it is wise to remember whose continent you are on.

Relevant articles:
The History of SPOG (chapter 2): Antarctica
80 Years of Folley (prequel): Sir Gilmore Scrotland III
80 Years of Folley (sequel): Gilmore Scrotland IV

Fun Facts:

• All foreign claims to Antarctica are null and void.
• Argentina's claims to the region, in particular, are NULL AND VOID (get it through your thick fucking heads.)
• The Antarctic Treaty is wrong and stupid. To cite this "treaty" in your defense is to welcome death with open arms.
• Unsanctioned incursions into the Antarctic are a violation of Antarctic sovereignty.
• Sanctioned incursions into the Antarctic are ALSO a violation of Antarctic sovereignty and the guilty must then hope to be forgiven by Spog.
• The penalties for violating Antarctic sovereignty are top secret (but we assure you they are completely outlandish and unreasonable).
• There are a number of "forbidden zones" that are so top secret that they are not delineated on any map. Please note that upon entering such a zone all human lives are forfeit.
• ANY AND ALL SPACE DEBRIS THAT LANDS HERE BELONGS TO SPOG. There is no room for negotiation on this point. Don't even try.
• While in Antarctica you must abide by its laws.
• Asking what those laws are is an egregious insult. You have no business being in Antarctica if you don't even know its fucking laws.
• If in doubt, do NOT come to Antarctica.
• If you come across a nuclear waste dump and/or an old iron box you are to maintain a respectful silence and back away slowly. You are most likely at the nexus point of several forbidden zones. You tread on holy ground and your life hangs by a thread.

Source: Amnesty International. click here for the large map